Spyro and Malefor: The Love They Share
by Cornys
Summary: Comedy! Spyro and Malefor share other properties other than that of their color... For example their love for one another, and their insanity. Basically this is what I write at the end of a long day and I feel like just letting lose something off the wall
1. Fruit Cake

_**Spyro and Malefor: The Love They Share**_

**Chapter 1  
Fruit Cake**

Ignitus looked into his visionary lamp one more time to look for Spyro and see what he was doing.

_Spyro looked behind himself as he entered a cave. Cynder was no longer able to be found. A large dragon-like figure stood in the entryway._

_"Ah Spyro" It said in a deep male voice. "I have been awaiting you."_

_"I have traveled far my love. Now I am at your door step. May I enter?"_

_"As you wish,"_

_"Thank you Malefor"_

_"No problem." he replied as he headed off deep into the cave with Spyro staring contently at his hind end._

_"I was just eating my dinner. You you like to join me?"_

_"I would love to."_

_Malefor turned off to the left and came into a great dining room. A small table set up in the middle with food on it. They moved into position around it and each stared at the spaghetti that lies before them in a huge mound._

_Each soon dropped their faces into it and began to eat it all... Eventually they both got a hold of the same strand and slurped down towards the other's end. Accidentally they met in the middle and kissed._

_"Spyro my love. Such a small gesture does not suffice my desire."_

_"Mine either my love." Spyro replied before moving around the table and jumping onto Malefor and rubbing him all over the place. Malefor licking all over Spyro's body._

Ignitus suddenly removed himself from the vision.

"What the heck! Spyro is a friggin' fruit cake!"

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(Last Edited: 6-22-10 7:51 P.M. EST.)

Disclaimer: I'm not gay and this is not made to make fun of Spyro.


	2. Flamers

**_Spyro and Malefor: The Love They Share_**

**Chapter 2  
Flamers**

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**

Ignitus looked back into his visionary lamp once again. Whatever that was last time hopefully was over or something.

_Spyro got up from bed and went back into the dining room. The table cleaned all ready from last night._

_Spyro tip toed over towards one of the cabinet doors and opened it. Inside was a huge cake. Spyro stared at it a moment before pulling it out and setting it on the table._

_He went back over the cabinet and pulled out a huge box of candles, took all of them out, and placed them carefully onto the cake before galloping joyfully into the bed room again._

_"Wake up dearest." Spyro enticed._

_Malefor turned over._

_Spyro quickly leaped on top of him and began to massage his back. "Wake-up birthday boy"_

_"All right Spyro." He said rolling over off of the bed._

_The couple moved off into the kitchen once again and Malefor saw the cake._

_"Awe, Spyro you shouldn't have."_

_"I made sure that I had ordered all one thousand and twenty candles"_

_Malefor stared at the thing in disbelief._

_Spyro moved around to the other side of the cake. "Go on light the candles"_

_Malefor let out a huge ball of fire that scorched the entire cake to a crisp. "Oops," Malefor said._

_Spyro hobbled around with his foot on fire. By the time Malefor noticed it, it had enveloped his entire body._

_"Oh dear," Malefor exclaimed springing towards him. "I'm so sorry."_

_Malefor attempted an ice attack but it melted instantly so he resorted to jumping onto Spyro to try and suffocate the fire._

_Eventually they were both covered by flames._

"What in the name of the ancestors!" Ignitus asked to himself. "What's wrong with those two?"

Suddenly the former Chronicler appeared before him. "Do you love me?"  
_

Disclaimer: I am not gay and this is not made to attack Spyro.

I hope you laughed

(Last Edited: 6-22-10 7:55 P.M. EST.)


	3. Dark Discoveries

**_Spyro and Malefor: The Love They Share_**

**Chapter 3  
Dark Discoveries**

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"Oh $#! no!" Ignitus replied.

"Oh all right." and with that the former chronicler disappeared.

"What is going on with this world?"

_"Spyro, Spyro, wake-up!" Malefor yelled._

_Spyro suddenly got up. His body visibly consumed by dark energy. "I will never be like you!" Spyro said and started attacking Malefor._

_"Oh, ow, oh, Spyro! My lover, quit that! it hurts ever so much."_

_"Fight back! Why don't you fight back?"_

_"Because I love you Spyro"_

_Spyro slowly stopped and descended back to the ground. Returning to his original form. "Oh heck! I guess I love you too."_

_They kissed for an hour only to by stopped by Cynder._

_"Spyro?" She asked._

_Spyro unlocked his lips with Malefor and stared at her._

_Cynder fell to the ground. Ember also rounded the same corner and lied down beside Cynder. Ember held the motionless body of Cynder affectionately._

Ignitus could not take any more of this. He wrote down all of what he had seen in the book of prophecy. Hoping that what he had just seen was not real.

"'ello Iggy." said the mechanical voice of the terminator.

"What is that?" Ignitus asked into the air.

"I am a T-101 Terminator. You may know me as 'The Terminator'." It said

Ignitus drew fourth a furry attack and burst it into flames. All of the flesh on the body was melted away. But it quickly grew back.

"What is this!" Ignitus asked to the ancestors.

The terminator gave him a sideways glance "This is your life."

Ignitus stared at it for a long moment. "What do you want?"

The Terminator smiled at him. "I want you, to want me"

Noting was said or done.

For a long time.

"Get out of here!" Ignitus finally said seething.

"Ok," said the terminator and started to walk away.

Ignitus glared at it as it left. It was right in front of the door when it turned around.

"But I'll be back."

With that it was gone.

"What the #$^!"

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Disclaimer: I am not gay and this is not made to attack Spyro.

I hope you laughed

(Last Edited: 6-22-10 8:04 P.M. EST.)


	4. The Terminator

_**Spyro and Malefor: The Love They Share**_

**Chapter 4  
The Terminator

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"Death is bad, Spyro," Malefor said, "so is birth control."

"I see" Spyro replied as the friction between Ember's hand and Cynder's back suddenly burst Cynder into flames. Ember too caught fire. She seamed as though she never realised that she was burning. Eventually they were both burnt out.

"Ah, how cute! I wish that we could do something like that." Malefore said, suddenly taking a blow in the forehead from Spyro.

"Don't you ever talk about our relationship comming to that!" Spyro demanded from him.

"All right, all right. I love you dear."

"I know you do," Spyro said jumping into Malefor's mouth so that he could properly kiss him.

*****

Ignitus was interrupted from his vision by that menacing machine. "What the heck are you doing back?!"

"I told you I would be back." It said in the unusual accent.

"What are you?" He asked now learning to ask more pointed questions.

"Luke, I am your mother" it replied in a completely different voice. The thing dissolved and in it's place stood a droid, blue and white colored it beeped at him as it was all that it could do.

A golden thing walked into the room. "Great!" Ignitus screamed in denial.

"I am glad to be addored so much." the gold one said obliviously. "I'm C-3PO, and this is R2-D2"

"I'll just call you 3 and 2. All right? In the order of your kind I've seen."

The first one walked back into the room and annihilated the two new comers. "No machine has the right to speak!" he said before falling to the ground.

Ignitus decided to return to the vision.

*****

Gaul farted on Spyro leaving a hole in his butt. "Crap." Spyro said upon looking through it.

"Sorry" Gaul replied, "I got carried away."

Poop fell onto the floor moments later. The Terminator picked it up and sniffed it. "I love hush puppys" it said and then devoured it.

Malefor attempted to stop him from leaving, but nothing phased the terminator. "Now we can't have kids!" Malefor yelled after him

Edward appeared infront of Ignitus in reality. "I love you Ignitus," He said.

"I don't" Ignitus replied slowly before throwing him into the dream and letting Gaul run off with him. Spyro and Malefor were alone once again. Spyro couldn't believe what Gaul's fart had done to his butt.

"There's a huge hole in my butt now." Spyro realized.

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A/N: Wow. I forgot all about this one. Well there's an update as it was all that I could have done tonight with my time. Hope that this lives up to expectations from the earlier chapters. With this being nothing like all of my other fics it's hard to say what has changed in this style or writing for me. Oh well, hope that it wasn't too bad..

Check out another one of my fics. They are nothing like this, but I think that you will like them too.

Thanks for reading,  
Cornys


	5. Have You Ever Seen the Rain?

**_Spyro and Malefor: The Love They Share_**

**Chapter 5  
Have You Ever Seen the Rain?**

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Ignitus knew that something was wrong with him so he quickly threw down the pipe that was in his mouth leaving its contents burning on the ground. "At least it won't ask me to have sex with it, though, I guess."

Instantly it jumped from the ground and went entirely up into his nose. "Oh yeah," it moaned deeply inside of his lungs.

"!#$" Ignitus screamed.

_Spyro got up from Malefor, "I never really was told why I had to fight you anyhow."_

_"It's all Gaul's fault, ever since he gave birth to Ember and sent her flying into the Dragon City with the force of his labor, everybody has been trying to kill us._

_Something just outside of the cave made a sound and all of a sudden a large pitcher of red Kool-Aid entered the room. It looked at them briefly then said, "Oh yeah!" before exploding violently._

_The cave was blown away leaving nothing but Spyro and Malefor on a stone slab._

_Lightning covered the land scape and then a man with brown skin appeared before them. "Chocolate Rain," he sung to them briefly before walking slowly off._

_Spyro turned to look at him as he walked away only to hear Malefor laughing hysterically, "You have a hole in your butt!"_

_Spyro stared at him for more than a minute. Nothing was said. _

_The Sky ended the silence._

_It suddenly opened up with a solid onslaught of a brown liquid._

_"It's Chocolate Rain!" they exclaimed excitedly throwing their arms up for joy. _

_They turned their faces to the sky and allowed it to enter their maws where they swallowed it immediately._

_The Kool-Aid man reappeared and was instantly turned brown, "Oh No!_

_The brown colored man walked back over to the and sung, "Diarrhea!"_

Ignitus felt depressed all of a sudden and was drawn away from the dream by a duck which looked up at him with large trusting eyes, "Aflac!"

"Stupid duck get out of here!"

Its head fell from its body.

"Good duck."

"I would die for you, cross the sky for you. I'll send out a light burning for…"

Ignitus kicked it in the face, "Oh, shut up!"

The vision instantly and involuntarily returned to him.

_Spyro stood beside a large vortex holding a ring in his hand. He looked up at the giant eye hovering over top of it then over to Malefor. "Should I put it into there?"_

_"Sure, I've been bored for quite a while now that it's quit raining."_

_Spyro tossed the ring into the vortex and a hand popped out of it and grabbed it. _

_Chuck Norris stepped forward from it, "That is an invalid action."_

_He disappeared and the ring fell to the ground. Spyro picked it back up and threw it in again only to have Donald Trump step out of it. "You're fired!"_

_He disappeared and Spyro picked the ring back up and tossed it in one more time. This time Chuck Norris stepped back out with it in his hand, "Do you wish to follow through with this invalid action?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Ok," he replied and walked into the vortex._

_The World exploded and everybody died._

_Chuck Norris rode a wheelie on a unicycle through the debris filled outer space proceeding into the smoky sunset._

Ignitus looked around him with wide fearful eyes and wrote all of what he had seen in the journals in front of him.

The Terminator stopped in front of him and pointed a gun into his face, "Austa-lavesta, Baby!"

"Oh !#$,"

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_A/N: Only one more chapter remains in this rather odd fan fiction. I hope that it has been entertaining to this point. Feel free to review the insanity._

_Thanks, and there's no doubt why my name is:,_  
_Cornys_

_Disclaimer: I am not gay and this is not made to attack Spyro._

_I hope you laughed_

_(Last Edited: 6-22-10 9:15 P.M. EST.)_


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